Thursday, February 21, 2013

From The Beginning...

I wish I would've started blogging prior to having my first baby. L was born February 22, 2010 and I started blogging September 2011. I wondered, do I start with the labor or even we brought her home? There was just too much that I missed documenting! I do remember those first days. There was one night I was about to lay her down. I had turned on the Rascal Flatts Lullaby cd we has bought, and the sweet version of "Bless This Broken Road" was on. I was standing in the middle of the dark nursery, swaying back and forth holding my baby so close to me every now and again kissing her forehead with tears in my eyes. There weren't any thoughts going through my head, I was just so happy. Soon enough my husband came into the room. He asked if I was alright. Looking at him, I couldn't speak. He said "Are those happy tears?" I shook my head yes and the three of us stood in the middle of the room, in the dark swaying to music, it was truly like time was standing still and we were the only people in the world. What a cool feeling. Everything felt so perfect. 

Then there was Colic,  this started  at 3 1/2 weeks old and  lasted until 4 months. We tried multiple things to calm and soothe Ladybug, but the only thing that worked was running the vacuum cleaner! We actually found a 30 second clip of the vacuum running on the computer and we looped it to make an hour long cd to run while she was sleeping. Lots of bad habits formed during this time. I held her a lot... When she wasn't crying, I just wanted to keep her from crying. If she was asleep, I didn't want to lay her down because every time I would, she would just start crying again. 
I don't know if you've every been around a colicky baby, but it's horrible. I did get lots of compliments though about how I never got stressed and I was always able to remain calm. But I always said, if I let myself get stressed then Ladybug would feel it and she would get stressed too; and I didn't want that at all!! 
This time wasn't all bad, the screaming of a colicky baby IS really bad. But she did play a bit and during this time she changed so much. We noticed every milestone, every new sound and every new movement. 
During this time of colic we talked about wanting another baby. I know, that sounds crazy to think when your dealing with colic! But I was high risk with Ladybug and was going to turn 35 the following year, which would make me either higher risk. We had talked about 2 kids, but during my pregnancy with L, and different things that happened, I said multiple times that I didn't think I would be able to do it again! But once I saw my Ladybug, I knew she needed someone! I knew I was ready, didn't talk to Daddy about it until Easter that year. Soon enough it was time for my post partum appointment and I told my OB we wanted to do it again. They didn't want to give me the medicine I needed. (my body didn't make enough of the hormone that your body needs to support a pregnancy. They gave me the oral form of progesterone). Three weeks later I was pregnant... AGAIN!!! 

Ladybug was less than 3 months old. We went to a Derby Eve Concert. I didn't want to go!!! Didn't want to leave Ladybug... But I got her to sleep and off we went. We were having a great time. There was a family next to us, with alot of kids!! One little girl looked up at me and asked if I would pick her up. After asking her parents, I picked her up and we danced to the music. I asked her what her name was, and when she told me, I turned around to look at my husband with teary eyes and said, "I'm pregnant". I said, "I know I am. Do you know what her name is?" It was the name we were going to name our next little one (well if it was a girl)! That was on a Friday. The Wednesday after Mother's Day I took a test, and I was pregnant. What we think is cool is that essentially on my First Mother's Day, I had both of my babies with me!
When I was pregnant with Ladybug, I wanted a girl so bad. Because of all of my kidney stones and everything, I kept saying, I didn't know if I could go through another pregnancy, I just wanted a girl so bad. Healthy of course, but I wanted a girl!  More than once, I told my husband if I just had a girl, I didn't care what the next one would be if we did do it again. Well, once I was pregnant, all I could think was that Ladybug needed a sister!!!

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