Saturday, April 20, 2013

My Dad...

My dad and I don't talk. We have tried! This whole story of our relationship or (lack there of) is another whole blog post in itself. It's emotional, it's draining and I don't really know when it'll be a good time to sit down and spill it all. Now, the good thing is that I can honestly say that I feel like I've make peace with the whole situation. 

I've always known that the day would come when one or both of my girls would ask me about my dad. I've thought A LOT about what I was going to say. How I was going to answer those questions. How I would feel explaining this to them, etc. 

The morning of April 5, 2013 L and I were talking about random things while I was loading the dishwasher, when I heard the words come out of her mouth, "Who's YOUR daddy Mommy? Do you have a daddy?" With out hesitating (because I didn't want her to think anything was wrong), I said to her, "Yes I have a daddy and not everyone is as lucky as you are to have such a great Daddy! MY Daddy isn't as nice as your Daddy is and that's why you haven't met him. I told her his name and I told her that she has the best Daddy in the world! She asked why my daddy wasn't nice. I rethought my words and told her that it wasn't that he wasn't nice, BUT he doesn't always say nice things. I told her that no one wants to be around people that don't treat them nice. That's why I try to teach her to be kind and caring towards others. She told me that she wants to be nice to everyone. I love that girl! I asked her if she had any other questions. There's so much to that story... I didn't want to say too much, but I didn't want to say too little. She's 3!

The next day after she was eating breakfast, out of the blue she said, "I love Daddy!" I said, your daddy loves you too. Should we try to call him? She rubbed my arm and said, "I'm sorry your daddy's not nice Mommy, your nice!" 

I know this isn't the last conversation we'll have about him... but I think it went ok.

Why I haven't blogged...

At this point, I would say it's been 4 or 5 weeks ago, M out of the blue asked me to make her a blanket. I had no idea where she got this idea from. I asked her several questions to see if she really meant what she was saying, and SHE DID in fact want me to make her a blanket. The only thing I could think of was that we read a book that had someone doing that. I told her that I had to think about it for a bit... I got both girls interested in something and I watched several YouTube videos on crocheting... I thought, "I can do this!"

We set off to the craft store, I let her pick out some yarn and that night I started on her blanket... I can't forget to tell you the part though, on the way home from the craft store, not even 5 minutes after we left the craft store, on the way home, M asked, "Is my blanket done yet?" Then I had to explain that it was going to take awhile for me to do!!

The following morning, after she ate breakfast, she asked me if she could see her blanket... of course I showed her and she started to cry. It was long, but only about 3 inches high. She raised both of her hands in the air and said, "I wanted a BIG blanket!" I knew I had to work like crazy to get it done!!

When it was getting closer to being finished, she would want to snuggle with it, she would sit in my lap with her blanket across her lap WHILE I WAS WORKING on it, snuggling it. Sometimes she would put her hand on my hand (while I was crocheting) and she would say, "I'm helping you make my blanket Mommy." It was absolutely the cutest thing EVER!!

I finished her blanket in 9 days... then of course I had to start making L a blanket. THIS IS WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING LATELY!!!