My Dad...

My dad and I don't talk. We have tried! This whole story of our relationship or (lack there of) is another whole blog post in itself. It's emotional, it's draining and I don't really know when it'll be a good time to sit down and spill it all. Now, the good thing is that I can honestly say that I feel like I've make peace with the whole situation. 

I've always known that the day would come when one or both of my girls would ask me about my dad. I've thought A LOT about what I was going to say. How I was going to answer those questions. How I would feel explaining this to them, etc. 

The morning of April 5, 2013 L and I were talking about random things while I was loading the dishwasher, when I heard the words come out of her mouth, "Who's YOUR daddy Mommy? Do you have a daddy?" With out hesitating (because I didn't want her to think anything was wrong), I said to her, "Yes I have a daddy and not everyone is as lucky as you are to have such a great Daddy! MY Daddy isn't as nice as your Daddy is and that's why you haven't met him. I told her his name and I told her that she has the best Daddy in the world! She asked why my daddy wasn't nice. I rethought my words and told her that it wasn't that he wasn't nice, BUT he doesn't always say nice things. I told her that no one wants to be around people that don't treat them nice. That's why I try to teach her to be kind and caring towards others. She told me that she wants to be nice to everyone. I love that girl! I asked her if she had any other questions. There's so much to that story... I didn't want to say too much, but I didn't want to say too little. She's 3!

The next day after she was eating breakfast, out of the blue she said, "I love Daddy!" I said, your daddy loves you too. Should we try to call him? She rubbed my arm and said, "I'm sorry your daddy's not nice Mommy, your nice!" 

I know this isn't the last conversation we'll have about him... but I think it went ok.