Are The Terrible Two's A Real Thing??

It's not fair to compare the girls and say one went through this and the other one didn't (although that's how I was thinking earlier today). But as I sit here thinking about what I really want to say, I started to think about how "at this age" they both have had different circumstances. M is 26 months old right now and will do just about anything she can to antagonize L; When L was 26 months old, M was only 16 months old new to walking around and barely talking. L didn't have much to complain about to have to or want to do anything to M. 

Oh how things are different at this stage. M is 26 months old and L is 36 months old. M wants everything L has, M wants to do everything L is doing at the same time she is doing it. We've had some difficult times lately. M will cry and cry because she wants a toy that L is playing with and it won't take to long until L will just hand it to her. L is so kind and she doesn't want M to cry. I'm sure part of her doesn't want M to be sad, and part of her just doesn't want to hear it (honestly)! I just think M thinks L is cool and wants to do and have what she does!!

L is very interested in reading what she writes (out loud), reading a book, or simply telling you something (that she made up), sometimes it's to me, sometimes it's to M, but if she asks either or both of us to listen, M will do anything she can to be loud. It's horrible! I feel really bad, yesterday it was so bad that L started to cry because M wouldn't let her read what she wrote for me. I had to put M in her room and have a few minutes for L to tell me what she wanted to tell me! THIS IS SOMETHING WE ARE WORKING ON!! I know this is a phase, but M needs to learn that THIS NOT OKAY!! 

Earlier today M said she had to go to the bathroom, I followed her in there and she stopped, stood in the middle of the bathroom, looked at me and started to pee. I asked her why she did that, and her reply was, "I wanted to." What the heck? That's not okay!

M went through a biting phase awhile back and I thought we were past that. But earlier tonight, she bit L on her back. She went straight to her room. I talked to her (sternly) and left her to sit on her bed. After some time went by, I went back in to talk to her again and when she told me that she didn't want to apologize to L, I left her in there longer. More time passed and L came in there with me, she was so sweet and so serious. She looked at M and said, "You bit me and it hurt me. Biting is a bad decision and I won't bite you. I want to be a nice girl. If you kiss my back then it's okay". Basically she was saying if you kiss my boo boo then I forgive you. M continued to refuse to apologize and L walked out of the room while M sat there crying. Then L walked right back in and said to me, "I'm leaving because I don't want to hear her crying". Soon after, M apologized, kissed her boo boo and gave L a hug. 

More antics happened in the bath tub tonight. But I think I am getting the point across. BUT I feel bad as I re-read through this because M is really not a "bad" kid. She's really good most of the time. SHE'S JUST YOUNG AND SHE'S LEARNING!! They play really good together pretty much all of the time, but then it's like a switch! When she gets in one of these moods, it's just all down hill. I'll have to start to pay attention to see if there are any triggers. Like being sleepy or something. All of the things today that were going on were later in the day and that may have been the case. But I need to reel it in on these behaviors!! But if I can pay attention and see if there are any triggers, then I can anticipate the behavior and this will help with correcting them!

Despite all of this, it may sound rough having two so close but I wouldn't change things and have them any other way. I bet the two of them would totally agree! Already, they don't know what to do without each other. If one is sleeping, then the other one wants to wake them up, if one is in one room, then other one isn't far behind. It's fun to watch ... 98% of the time and I referee the other part of it... :)

Birthdays with two so close in age

M's second birthday was in December. She seemed to really understand what was going on. She knew we were going to Chuck E. Cheese for her party (and she was so excited), she knew she was going to get presents, family was coming because it was HER DAY! She loved looking the different cakes and picking out which one that SHE wanted. This WAS HER DAY COMING UP, AND SHE KNEW IT!

L on the other hand (although she is older), it had been ten months since her birthday, so she didn't quite understand "get it". We did our best explaining that HER birthday was coming up, that she would have all of the same things happening! She would have her party, family would be coming to see her, she would get to pick her cake and what she wanted on it. I told her I was also going to give her two options and that she would be able to pick where she would have her party. She was getting excited for this! I think talking about her party at the same time was helping.

It was the day of M's party. Things couldn't have went any better! The party was suppose to be from 11-1:00, and it was over at one (but we still had tokens left, the girls and myself ended up walking out of the door at 3:00). Of course the fun wasn't over, at that point we were going home to the presents that M had unwrapped and now it was time to play.

Something we really haven't ever experienced was things being "MINE". L was excited about the presents as well and couldn't wait to play with everything and there were plenty of new things to go around! As excited as L was, I explained to her that it was M's birthday and when I would open something, I would hand it to M to get to play with it first, then they could share it. This was reasonable to us and seemed to be going okay. Until these words came out of M's mouth, "That's my present," she didn't want L playing with anything. I then explained to M that L was born before her and there were a lot of toys that are here that belonged to L before M was born and that L shares everything with her so nicely. I named some of her favorite toys, told her that they really belonged to L and how would she feel if she wanted to play with them and L wouldn't let her because they were initially L's presents. M then understood and things seemed to once again be okay.

Things were okay on the toy and sharing front, but off and on throughout the day and evening, L would bring up her party, she would tell me that she wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese, just like M did. She wanted a Tinkerbell cake, just like M had. I don't know if she just had a good time and wanted to "make sure" that her party was just as fun, or what the reasoning was. I told her, if those were the things she wanted for her party, that would be perfectly fine but we could make the final decisions once her birthday was getting closer.

Towards the middle of January we started talking about themes etc. She was getting excited that HER DAY was coming. She made the decision to go to Chuck E. Cheese and she chose a Madagascar theme for her cake and things. We talked about all of this often (she was excited and brought it up several times a week). With this, M started talking about it being her birthday. Explaining to a two year old that her birthday had past and now this was L's day, over and over, was tiring (and not always easy). She became territorial of her presents again, not wanting to share. I explained that L would be getting things for her birthday and asked her how she would feel if L didn't share things with her. We had this conversation often.

Daddy and I decided the girls didn't really "need" anymore toys. With Christmas and M's birthday having both just passed. We decided to get something BIG that they would be able to use for quite sometime! We decided on a 14' trampoline with a safety enclosure. We bought it and it was put away (waiting for warmer weather).

We were having L's birthday party on Sunday, February 17, 2013 and the Saturday night before, I started thinking... L is very smart and doesn't forget a thing! When it was M's birthday, she paid attention to EVERYTHING and pointed out many times that she wanted her party to be just like M's. I started talking to my husband, saying that M came home with all kinds of presents and L has a trampoline. A trampoline (that she knows she's getting). A trampoline that is sitting in the shed in the backyard, that she's not going to open at her party and she's not even going to see until the weather is warmer. I told him the presents that she was going to open from family (I knew what everything was) and what she would be bringing home. I'm not saying in the least that any of this is about the presents, but at the same time, I didn't want my baby to be disappointed with the few things she would be bringing home and remembering ALL THE THINGS that her sister came home with. She turning 3, she's not going to understand that trampoline is in the shed... He agreed and after I got the girls to bed that night I went power shopping. I did not go crazy. But I got several small things that I knew would make her happy! She had a good amount to open and she came home with presents, she was happy! Her party was so fun and a big success!!